In today's fast-paced world, it's easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of relationships and the pursuit of love or something like love. Social media, community gatherings and dating sites have made it incredibly easy to connect with new people quickly, often leading to rapid relationship developments. However, sometimes it's essential to take a step back and focus on oneself. It is perfectly divine to explore other options.
The other day, I had an invigorating conversation with a gentleman pursuer. I had only just met him, but his behavior, professional background, and handsome appearance kept my attention. Unbeknownst to him, I am no longer in the market for a special friend. Once I provided him with this information, he questioned what was holding me back. I politely answered that love was no longer an option; I was interested in pursuing other dynamics in my life.
He wittingly asked me, "If love is no longer an option, then what is the option?" His question stunned me; it was both seductive and truly inquisitive. I answered coyly, "I haven't given that much thought." As he continued to rattle off why he was qualified to become a friend of mine, I started to think about how to answer his last question. What is the option?
I've experienced a string of relationships that were nothing short of disastrous, each one more terrifying than the last. None of them brought me happiness. Instead, they left me with heartbreak, emotional baggage, a sense of emptiness, disappointment, and confusion. Those were the ones where I actually loved the men. At one point in my life, I conducted an assessment comparing how my relationships with men I didn't love ended versus those with men I did love. The results were faith-shaking: I fared better in relationships where I only liked them a bit. I could continue with this mindset and entertain only strong-like relationships, but that would ultimately leave the romantic in me feeling depressed and bitter. Instead, I chose to take an empowering route.
Though the old adage, "To get over your last man, you have to get under a new one," still holds some truth. It doesn't help with the emotion baggage. Instead, I edify on how to overcome all the trauma that past relationships leave on both men and women. It's perfectly divine to take love off the shelf for a season or so. Ask yourself, what more am I capable of? Focus on what else is great about you. Abstaining from dating, relationships and sex is a great choice when you have just experienced a breakup, divorce, or heaven forbid, a spouse's death. Breaks are also good when you need to take some time to reflect on what took place in that last relationship, how you can deviate from those same mistakes and decide what you want to accomplish next in your next relationship or, even better, in your life. Sometimes, you just need a breather from being joined with someone and just focus on you. More holistically, I encourage people to rid themselves of the lingering spirit left by their last relationship.
Taking a break from relationships can be beneficial for various reasons. Here are some key ones:
Self-Discovery: It allows you to focus on understanding yourself better, your needs, and your goals.
Healing: After a breakup, divorce, or loss, a break can provide the necessary time to heal emotionally.
Personal Growth: It gives you the opportunity to work on personal development and achieve individual goals.
Clarity: Time alone can help you gain clarity about what you want in a future relationship.
Reducing Stress: Relationships can sometimes be stressful. A break can help reduce stress and improve mental health.
Independence: It helps you become more self-reliant and confident in your own abilities.
Avoiding Rebound: It prevents you from jumping into a new relationship too quickly, which can lead to unhealthy patterns.
Reevaluating Priorities: It allows you to reassess your priorities and what you truly value in a partner.
Improving Other Relationships: You can focus on strengthening friendships and family bonds.
Enjoying Solitude: It gives you the chance to enjoy your own company and find happiness within yourself.
Therefore, taking a break can be a healthy and empowering choice, leading to more fulfilling relationships in the future. Taking a break from love, sex and the like allows you to rediscover yourself, set new goals, and embrace the journey of self-reflection and growth. It's an opportunity to nurture your dreams, invest in your well-being, and appreciate the unique qualities that make you who you are. So, my response to the handsome, well-groomed, intelligent and gainfully employed gentleman who asked, "What is the option?" Dear sir, I Am. After all, the most important human relationship you'll ever have is the one with yourself.
At Keyola Consultants, we specialize in helping individuals overcome the challenges of past relationships. Whether you're dealing with heartbreak, emotional baggage, or confusion, our expert team is here to guide you through the healing process. We provide personalized support and strategies to help you rediscover yourself, set new goals, and embrace a brighter future. Let us help you transform your experiences into opportunities for growth and empowerment. Book your consultation today!
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