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Manners Maketh the Man

I'm going to let you in on a little secret.... I love when men pursue. It is one of the most gratifying actions women should encounter on a regular basis. The hunt! It's seductive and mysterious, it's hopeful and courageous. God forbid it's awkward or weird, and it can be all those things in one advance. We love it. The eyes from across the room, the stumbling of feet as they cruise over the aisles in the grocery store, the fumbled items being held as they reach out to shake hands, the stutter as they heroically introduce themselves. *Sigh* I'm getting goose bumps just thinking about it.

Needless to say, it's not really the fact that they have invaded our space with their presence nor that they decided to interrupt our routine. No, what planted the look of disgust on our face was either what was said or how it was said. Here's a Y. E. A. H. moment, men.... you do not need to make any moan simulated sounds when expressing your attraction to a woman. It's not needed. Nor do you need to give the elevator eyes all over our bodies once we've hesitantly turned in your direction. It's an overkill. We already get it; you see something that has stimulated your senses. You like what you see. You find it attractive. That's established. Now that we've turned in your direction to provide you the attention you warranted; say something clever. Make our day, make us laugh, put a smile on our face. Fact: Most women habitually walk around with the R.B.F. (another blog for another time) therefore the line "smile baby, what's wrong?" is an immediate turn off. Nothing's wrong, well it wasn't until you asked.

Confidence in oneself perpetuates the urge to make an advance on someone we find attractive. It's human nature to go after what you desire; it won't just land on your lap. Let's say you have the confidence; you see your target and you want to introduce yourself. So, introduce yourself. Follow that up with a compliment and some witty repartee. A moan-less, gesture-less, solid eye contact repartee. There is no exact science to how that approach will work for it truly all depends on the approached subject's personality. However, those tips will get you further than the eyeroll and the about-face that is typically the response given to men that do the latter.

What's interesting is that image can have a significant impact on our happiness. It affects the development of friendships and romantic relationships. Our impressions about other people are established by how one may speak or behave. They are only based on how they look initially. A person’s overall “image” does not just consist of how well they carry themselves or their physical appearance but also consists of a variety of factors including: clothing, grooming, tone of voice, vocabulary, facial expressions, eye contact, gestures, and social behaviors.

She expects a compliment and the common inappropriate catcall. Instead, mention how well dressed she is. Mention the hairstyle that took her a half hour to do and/or the makeup that took twice as long. She's prepared for your eyes today. Therefore, say something well-mannered and worth hearing. You'll be surprised by how far your manners will take you.

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