Fluent in Love — A Reflection on Receiving What We Don’t Understand

💬 When Love Speaks a Foreign Dialect

I’ve been sitting with a theory that unsettled me. Some time ago I ran across an interview where a celebrity claimed that his change in sexual orientation was ordered by God. He also stated that he was "fluent in love." When the interview aired, in 2024, many people didn’t latch onto the metaphor of being “fluent in Love.” Instead, the moment that trended was the celebrity’s claim that God made him gay. That statement stirred controversy — and for me, it stirred examination.

Let me be clear: I completely disagree with that claim.

My faith teaches that God is intentional, holy, and sovereign. While I believe He allows us to make choices, I do not believe He creates us to live in contradiction to His design. To say God made him gay is, in my view, a misrepresentation of divine authorship. It’s not just a theological disagreement — it’s a distortion of purpose.

But here’s the nuance: I can disagree with that statement and still reflect on the emotional metaphor that followed. I can reject the spiritual claim while still examining the emotional literacy behind being “fluent in Love.” So, let's examine.

After years in a heterosexual entanglement the public figure shared that they are now in a same-sex relationship. When asked about the shift, they said, “I’m fluent in Love.” That phrase caught me off guard. That phrase lingered. Not because I agreed — but because it made me pause. It made me reflect. It made me examine my own fluency. And what I found was heartbreaking.

Fluere

Fluency is the smooth, effortless, and efficient use of a skill, such as language. The specific definition varies by context but generally implies a high level of proficiency and ease of performance. The word's root is the Latin fluere, meaning "to flow".

💔 The Pattern I Couldn’t Ignore

That theory didn’t just challenge my theology — it made me reflect on my own romantic history.

I’ve loved deeply. I’ve given generously. But when I look back at my relationships, I see a pattern: men who wanted to make love to me, who were fascinated by me, used me — or simply needed me. Needed my strength. Needed my loyalty. Needed my love. Needed my femininity. But rarely did they profess a desire to give love. Rarely did they speak the language of emotional reciprocity.

As a heterosexual woman, I’ve always seen same-sex relationships as a choice — one I don’t personally align with. I’ve viewed them through the lens of sin, disease, societal confusion, or emotional misdirection. But this metaphor — fluent in Love — didn’t ask me to change my beliefs. It asked me to examine my fluency.

When that celebrity said they received love “in the form it came,” I felt something shift. Not in my orientation — but in my expectations. Their metaphor made me pause. Because maybe the real question isn’t about orientation. Maybe it’s about fluency. About recognizing love when it shows up — and knowing how to flow within it. Maybe it’s about how we love. And whether we’re fluent enough to recognize when someone’s speaking our language — or just echoing their own needs.

🧠 Emotional Literacy vs. Spiritual Conviction

I’m not here to affirm what I don’t believe. I am here to help you grow. So, I ask: Can someone be emotionally literate in ways that challenge our spiritual framework? Can we respect someone’s emotional journey without compromising our convictions?

“Fluency in love isn’t about changing your beliefs — it’s about raising your standards.” — Keyola Consultants

Fluent in Love — But Who’s Speaking My Language?

🧭 Raising the Standard - A New Standard for Love

What does it mean to be fluent in love? To recognize it when it arrives in unfamiliar packaging? To receive it without needing it to match our expectations? This isn’t about orientation. It’s about discernment. It’s about recognizing when love is present — and knowing whether it’s meant for you.

Therefore, I have / am raising my standards. Like so many women, I want a man who doesn’t just need love — but knows how to give it. A man fluent in emotional presence, in spiritual partnership, in the kind of love that doesn’t just consume, but cultivates. A legacy-building intimacy. I want to be loved in a language I understand — and I want to be fluent enough to recognize it when it arrives.

Legacy isn’t built on comfort. It’s built on clarity. And maybe being fluent in love means knowing when someone’s speaking your language — and when they’re just echoing their own needs. I’m listening differently now. Not to what’s said, but to what’s offered. Because love, when it’s real, doesn’t just ask to be received. It arrives ready to give.

🔑 Call to Action: Keyola Consultants

At Keyola Consultants, we’ve always taught women to lead with discernment, poise, and emotional intelligence. This reflection is no different. Whether you’re navigating love, leadership, or legacy — fluency matters.

Ask yourself:

• Am I fluent in recognizing love when it’s real —beyond performance, beyond need, beyond nostalgia?

• Am I fluent in my love language of worth, clarity, legacy and reciprocity?

• Am I fluent in receiving love that’s meant for me — not just familiar to me?

• Am I fluent in giving love?

  
  

If you’re ready to raise your standards, refine your emotional literacy, and build a legacy rooted in clarity, Keyola Consultants is here to guide you. Because love, when it’s real, doesn’t just ask to be received. It arrives ready to give.